Proud LGBTQ+ business owners in New Haven, CT share their stories of love, acceptance, and support.
You might've seen the commotion on social media last month when 4 thieves were caught on camera stealing the pride flag from the outside of Blue Orchid, one of a handful of LGBTQ+ owned bars in New Haven.
What happened as a result? An outpouring of support nobody expected!
Pride month was the perfect time to have a chat with husbands & business owners Michael Flora and Natthawut (Kyu) Tipjak and learn more about their stories and the business they created together as husbands here in New Haven.
In this article, Michael shares the whole story behind the stolen flag, his own coming out story, advice for you if you are scared to come out, and even some of his other favorite LGBTQ+ owned spots in New Haven.
Read more about Michael, Kyu and Blue Orchid below:
Q. What is your name, relationship to the business, and how long have you lived in the New Haven area for?
Michael Flora: Owner, Lived and worked in New Haven Area for over 12 years. Currently CFO for Jewish Federation of Greater New Haven by day and bartender/owner nights and weekends.
Natthawut (Kyu) Tipjak: Owner, Lived and worked in New Haven area for the past four years, prior to that in NYC and prior to that New Haven. New Haven is his bookends from his time so far in America.
Q. Tell us about Blue Orchid. What should people order their first time stopping by?
A. We started Blue Orchid because Kyu was out of work because of the pandemic and always wanted to own a restaurant. We looked for restaurants to purchase but even during a pandemic they wanted a lot of money. The prior owners went out because of the pandemic and the property owner was just looking for a good business model to take over. The model put us way ahead of when we thought we'd be able to start a restaurant.
Blue Orchid's food menu is Kyu's creation while the bar menu is a joint effort from Mike and Kyu. Kyu designed the menu around his comfort food and people seem to have their favorites. We would recommend the Khao Soi (Yellow Curry Noodle Soup AKA Chiang Mai Noodles) would be something everyone should try. It is a coconut curry soup from Kyu's hometown region of Thailand - Chiang Mai. He has a degree in Food Science and Technology from Chiang Mai University and this recipe is an amalgamation of his mother's and grandmother's recipe with some of his own tweaks.
Q. For people who haven't heard, can you share the story about what happened to your flag, and more importantly, how the community rallied together in support?
A. We were married on Pride weekend 6/28 so it means a lot to us. June 1st, 2021 was our first Pride month owning the restaurant a we put out a pride flag and never planned on taking it down like other companies. In fact, in July of 2021 many gay customers told us they wondered if the flag was coming down July 1st and they were pleasantly surprised to see it remain out. We always had a Pride sticker in the window from when we first opened as well. When the flag was out, people started noticing us more and more as well as inquiring about our story. We've met so many great people because of the conversations in the restaurant.
Anyway that summer the flag was stolen and I raised it as soon as I could get another one. We had a camera system but it was not linked to us so I did not have access to the recordings and I did not report it. The next one, I drilled into the concrete building instead of the wooden sign thinking it would be harder to pull down. That fall, just before winter, it was ripped down for the second time. This time one of our customer's who live across the street yelled out his window and recovered the flag and brought it to us the next day. This time I had access to the camera but not the ability to pull the video off. I also did not report the incident.
After that, it was too cold for me to raise the flag again so it remained in our vestibule proudly displayed in the window. On Sunday May 8th, I finally had a break and time to re-hand the flag and holder even more securely in the concrete. It lastly less than a week when a young woman within a group of six people decided to climb on our window and stand on the outside light to steal the flag. I put this one in really good and it took her almost three minutes to wrestle it from the holder. She was rocking it back and forth up and down and finally loosened the wing nut that held it in place. We had the camera's and I recorded it from my phone and posted it on our social media and it was widely shared. On-scene media New Haven also shared it and between our two postings, it was viewed over 30,000 times. All of our posting were seen and shared by many people.
The sliver lining here was the outpouring of support we received from near and far. Our regular customers came in to check on us, area business not only shared the video on their social media but also checked in on us as well. Mark Zeretsky from the New Haven Register wrote an article about the situation that hit the front page of not only the daily email briefing but also the front page of the printed paper. WTNH asked to use the video from our Facebook page and shared it on the evening news, Fox61's Carmen Chau did an interview with Mike that ran on the 4:00 news. Other news organizations picked up the story as well.
We received a brand new progressive pride flag from a gay married couple who are our customers and friends. They hand delivered it on Sunday after getting it rush to their house from Amazon. The same couple purchased 250 mini flags for us to give out so that nobody needs to steal a pride flag. We've already given out about 75 of them. We received a second Progressive pride flag from an anonymous person who sent it to "Friends at Blue Orchid. One of the most amazing this that happened though was last week when we received a packed with a flag inside along with a kind note. This flag looked different in the bag and when we unfolded it we saw that it was also a progressive pride flag but had the words EVERY ONE IS WELCOME HERE in rainbow colors. We hung that right away before leaving that night and it is proudly displayed behind the bar.
We have seen many new customers and social media followers and engagement as well as a visit from the New Haven Mayor to show his support. This is all very overwhelming to us. A couple of comments on Social Media mentioned how much the flag means to them when they walk down the street.
Q. If you're comfortable sharing, what gender identity do you identify as, and what are your pronouns?
A. Both Mike and Kyu go by He/Him.
Q. Can you share your coming out story?
A. Mike's coming out took a long and winding road. Religious, social and familial guilt kept my true self hidden and disdained for most of my life. Unable to reconcile who I needed to be with who I really was.I was married for over 20 years and have four great kids who all have worked in the restaurant over the past almost two years. I think I've known deep down that I was gay since I was probably 10 years old. I was 49 when I finally came out to my family after a lot of soul searching and talks with a progressive Catholic Priest.
Kyu's coming out story happened when he moved to America from Thailand. He actually hasn't seen his family in Thailand since moving here over a decade ago and told his mom over the phone.
Both of our moms were very supportive.
Q. What advice would you have for somebody who wants to come out but is too scared?
A. I think coming out is getting easier for some people because of the pioneers who came before us. My advice would be to not go it alone and to know that there is a lot of support in the LGBTQ community. There is the NH Pride Center who is alway there for anyone who needs help with this issue. A lot of people are afraid of losing their family when they come out but I would say that it is more important to not lose yourself than a family that won't accept you for who you are. I think family can be blood or who you choose to call your family. Lastly, talk to someone who may have been in your shoes. We've had a few customers come out to us in the restaurant.
Q. How can cis- and/or straight people be more sensitive to the LGBTQ+ community?
A. Treat us as you would any other person. I hope for the day when coming out is unnecessary. People don't come out as straight so when does anyone need to come out as LGBTQIA+? Sadly, I don't think I will see that day.
Q. What is a common misconception about the LGBTQ+ community?
A. We are no different than anyone else. Good and bad vanilla and dramatic.
Q. What are your favorite LGBTQ+ businesses in New Haven?
A. We own a restaurant and bar so we don't have a lot of time outside of the business right now. When we do go out, Kyu likes to go to either 168 York Street or Partners where he can feel comfortable and affectionate. He still doesn't feel comfortable anywhere else.
Q. Where can LGBTQ+ people meet and hang out in New Haven?
A. Despite our flag issue, I think New Haven is a very progressive and accepting city. I believe, from what I can tell, that Blue Orchid has been the host to many LGBTQ first dates. The Pride Center does events as well as the LGBTQ bars and restaurants, 168 York, Partners, Barracuda/Te Amo Tequila and Soul de Cuba.
Q. Is there anything special you're doing to celebrate June, LGBTQ+ Pride month?
A. A. New Haven Pride is celebrated in September but June is of course Pride month worldwide. We will be doing our Rainbow shots as requested, Daily All Day Happy Hour on select draft beer and giving away as many mini pride flags as we can. We will also be closed for most of the last Saturday and Sunday of June to spend the weekend in NYC for the Pride celebration for our wedding anniversary.
Q. What is the importance of being a proudly LGBTQ+ owned business?
A. For us, the best thing that organically happened in our restaurant is a feeling of welcome. We've had many people, gay, straight, bi and trans tell us that they just feel so welcome in this place. That isn't what we set out to do and just is who we are as a couple. I think that stems from being proud and unapologetically gay and out. I tell everyone that my husband is the chef and that usually starts up unique conversations. One story I love to tell is that we had a transwomen come to our restaurant with a trans friend for their first time out as transwomen because they wanted a place they would feel comfortable, safe and welcome. Hearing that made me very emotional and proud of what we have brought to New Haven.
Share this article with anybody you know who is struggling with their sexuality as a reminder they're not alone!
Visit Michael and Kyu at Blue Orchid at 130 Court St in New Haven
Hours
Monday-Thursday 11:30AM–9:30PM
Friday 11:30AM–12AM
Saturday 12PM–12AM
Sunday 4–9:30PM
Happy Hour
$4 beer, $4 wine, $5-$8 cocktails
Everyday 4PM – 7PM & Friday, Saturday 10PM – 12AM
Photo credit: @blueorchidnh
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